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My Hands

by Tatum

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about

The song is about finally gathering the courage to leave a physically or emotionally abusive situation. Whether it’s a parent, a friend or a lover. It’s one of the hardest things to do, to break free from an abusive sociopath. The song tells of how we often lie to ourselves and try desperately to only see the few happy moments and block out the severely traumatic parts in-between in order to cope and to justify staying. To minimise the truth. It’s about breaking free from a Stockholm syndrome type of situation where it’s almost impossible to leave your abuser and that moment of courage, where your hands and sometimes your whole body shakes with fear, but you finally leave. It is said that courage is not the absence of fear, but the ability to act in spite of it. This is an anthem to all those who have been victims of abuse and who have gathered the courage to finally leave and to learn that you are stronger than those monsters because those monsters act in fear and weakness themselves.

lyrics

I stitched together
All my happy moments seamlessly
So I never had to look
At the in betweens
I used my smile as a mask
So no one would ever ask
What happened
How did I break

Ooohh

I buried you

My hands were shaking
The day I became brave
I rolled back the layers
I faced all, all of my horrors
I found I am stronger
Stronger than the monsters

I walked away from the broken pieces of my life
That cut so violently deeply into me.
Wearing all my scars like medals
Looking in to your dead lights
No one will know
How I broke

I buried you

My hands were shaking
The day I became brave
I rolled back the layers
I faced all, all of my horrors
I found I am stronger
Stronger than the monsters
Stronger than the monsters

My hands were shaking the day I became brave.

credits

released December 4, 2020
℗ Bad Future 2020
© Musica Publishing 2020
Written by: Mia Van Wyk, Paul Gala
Mixed, Arranged and Produced by: Paul Gala
Recorded and Mixed at: Bad Future Records, Johannesburg, South Africa.
Mastered by: Jacob van der Westhuizen
Vocals and vocal harmonies: Tatum Strydom
Synths, Beats and Machines: Paul Gala

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about

Tatum South Africa

Tatum is a rare talent, one that comes along only every so often to captivate and mesmerise with her old school aesthetic and momentous lyrics. Her voice smacks of the languid romanticism of Lana Del Rey and the moody phrasing of Lorde, and it’s steeped in dream pop lashings and an emotional depth that’s far beyond her young years. ... more

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